Brain Dump 5/14/2013

-  I hate my work.  Not so much the job itself, but the unpredictability of the business.  One day they tell us that sales are down, our parts quota is down, therefore no overtime and a likelihood of going back to 30 hrs/wk, and by the way the plant is shutting down for a week around the 4th of July (yes, they’re gonna).  By the end of the week, after you’ve made plans to do something with the family, they’re calling in everybody to work the weekend because there are parts stacked from hell to breakfast all over the plant and not enough people to run them because, oh yes, they laid off too many people.  I ended up stiffing them a weekend last month because that Saturday Yes Dear and PBJ had planned to go to an all day church function for women, and I was to stay home with AJ.  Planned weeks in advance.  Told the bosses they could work me all week long, but I absolutely could not work that particular Saturday.  I was told I had to come in anyway.  I told them, in so many words, “tough shit, my family comes first”.  And nothing they could do about it, other than charge me with an occurrence.

-  Not great news on the in-law front.   Yes Dear & I & AJ will no longer be setting foot in the home or on the property of her sister anytime in the near future, since the Butt Hole In Law (now known as BHIL) has done everything possible to make us feel completely unwelcome in their home.  Not to lower ourselves to their level but they are still welcome to visit us in OUR home (something the SIL seldome does, and the BHIL absolutely refuses to set foot inside), and any family gathering anywhere else if they wish to attend.  Apparently it is now a crime for not only myself to say hello or start a conversation with my nephews, but my wife as well.  The BHIL will send them off to do some distant task out of our proximity, call them in the house, or otherwise holler at them for some broken rule or undone chore if he catches either one of us talking to them.  Only next door at the grandparents can we talk to them or sneak a hug.  And he has been incredibly rude to my wife lately as well.  So we’ll stay out of their home and see if her sister will stand behind her hubby or keep him from sequestering the family.  Time will tell.

-  Went to a church Mother’s Day dance Saturday evening.  The kind where the youth babysit the kids while the adults get a spaghetti dinner catered to them by some of the other youth.  Watched AJ sneak in and try to do the Cha Cha Slide, and Yes Dear & I got to dance to REO Speedwagon’s “Keep On Loving You”.  Not a bad night at all, especially considering the last time I danced it required two rum and cokes to get me out on the dance floor.  Yes, that was quite a few years before I went LDS.

-  Thinking very seriously of selling what’s left of my Bonneville (hasn’t driven since January – no battery)  and becoming a one-car family for a while.  Not expecting to get a lot out of it, but enough to catch up on some things and get a break on the insurance.  PBJ chauffers around her grandpa in his truck (and gets paid for it) so she sorta gets to use it as a “company” vehicle (and keeps the SIL and BHIL from trying to use it and running out all the gas without replacing it).  Right now we live in a town where just about everything we need and want is within a short distance, and there is rarely need for two vehicles, so the wife & I can deal.  Just need to give the Windstar some plugs and a good tuneup.

-  We’re making a little extra money on the side watching a six-month-old baby for his working mama.  Mr. Fluffy, as we call him, has got to be the sweetest and happiest baby alive, and this is coming from someone who is a confessed babyphobe.  I come in the door in the morning from work and he’s the one happiest to see me.  He loves to coo and play, sounding a lot like Gizmo from Gremlins.  He has no problem letting me rock and soothe him, and often will calm down instantly, not something I’m normally able to do with babies.  AJ adores him and will often walk by and plant a kiss on his bald head, exclaiming, “my baby”.  And the mama loves the fact that she can leave her baby with a “cool” family that’ll take care of him and love him like their own, something that seems to be lacking in her own home.  Sigh.

-  And while we’re on the subject of babies, I might’ve mentioned at some time or another that we were going to be visited by daughter June Bug.  She did make it out a couple of weekends ago and even though we were not impressed by the baby daddy (another story for another time perhaps), we were glad to see our daughter after three years of estrangement.  Oh yeah, and our grandson CJ.  Want a peek?  (below the fold)

Life Changers

Earlier this week there was a sort of ten-year anniversary for our family.  The first of May stands out for me, and probably will for quite a while.

Unfortunately, it’s not a happy anniversary.  Ten years ago from the first of May was when our family, at least the incarnation of it at the time, was destroyed.  In a sense, maybe it had to happen so that we could rebuild with a firmer foundation and learn from our many mistakes.  But it put us in an extended period of hell until we got the building blocks in place, and the reverberations from that earthquake continued for some time afterwards.

I originally intended to post about that anniversary and its effects, but I changed my mind after thinking it over.  First of all, I already posted a good bit about it (passworded).  Second, I had some other life events come to mind that I’d like to talk about instead.  Happier things.  Moments in my life that at least started out very ordinary, yet ended up or set into motion extraordinary, life changing events.  Good, or at least positive, events.  Allow me to share a few:

-  One summer I was spending at my grandmother’s house in Ohio.  Something us kids regularly did almost every summer.  We lived in Georgia at the time, and had grandparents in West Virginia and Ohio.  Sometimes my brother & I would go at the same time, sometimes we’d split between the two and then swap after a couple of weeks, spending time with the other set until we went back to the ATL and geared up for another school year.  (My sister had just started college by this time and had pretty much moved out with her own life).  It was July of 1982, if memory serves, and I was thirteen years old just barely short of hitting puberty.  I had called home for the obligatory vacation check-in telling my dad that no, I wasn’t driving Grandma crazy and I was behaving myself, how was the dog doing, what! you reaaranged my bedroom!, yada yada yada.  And then he proceeded to drop on me that his job was being transferred out to Southern California and we would be moving by the end of that year.

I was speechless, yet soon became giddy with excitement.  California at the time was nothing more than a dream to me, a distant horizon that until that moment held no hope of exploration, at least not in the foreseeable future.  But all of a sudden, not only was I going to have the opportunity to leave behind my miserable middle school existence in Georgia and have a fresh start, I was going to be able to do it in California!  Unreal!

Well, to make a long story short, the move was made and I spent the next fifteen years of my life in California.  And though I still had a lot of teen angst and insecurity issues that traveled with me to my new school and new life, I eventually managed to find my ground and my circle of friends, and see and do things and meet people that I never would’ve had in my previous life in the suburban ATL.  And even though I ended up returning to Georgia as an adult, with a family this time, I can say a very large part of the person I am today was forged from the time I spent in CA.

A few more (little shorter this time):

-  The day back in summer 1991 that I took a drive across town with my friend Doug, who was giving a female friend of his a ride to go babysit for another friend of hers.  The drive was a good 60-70 miles and it would likely be quite late before Doug got back, so he wanted me to accompany him to help drive or at least keep him awake.  That “another friend” who required babysitting services that afternoon and evening was none other than my future Yes Dear, starting an on-and off relationship that eventually became full-time, culminated in marriage some seven-and-a-half years later, and persists to this day almost 22 years after that original meeting.

-  One day at work in the SF Bay area, circa sometime in 1996, when we had been taken out to a local restaurant for a luncheon as an award for an exceptional month of production.  Yes Dear at the time was living in Arkansas near her parents and we had been separated for the better part of a year.  I had visited the previous summer and we had talked about rekindling our relationship, but had no clue as to how to make it work logistically.  Then my boss mentioned something offhand about one of our sister shops expanding.  In Georgia.  Near the very same area that I had moved from years earlier as a preteen.  All of a sudden I knew how to make it all work.  Put in for a transfer, go out to Georgia and get set up with the support of family close by (my sister), save some money, and then move Yes Dear and kids out with me to an area that was much more affordable than California, yet with more job and pay opportunities than Arkansas (at the time).  Though the end result didn’t happen exactly like I thought it would, that day set in motion an almost year-long effort towards a goal that I suddenly realized was achievable during an informal conversation with my boss.  There are times when I wish I could track him down and tell him what a difference he made in my life, particularly on that day.

-  About 3 ½ years ago, during my period of long-term unemployment in Georgia, when I was sitting at my computer looking through job boards and classifieds, and for no reason at all looked at the want ads in Arkansas and saw a position that fit my skills perfectly.  That started a saga that ended up with us eventually moving out here, something many of my regular readers may be familiar with.  And even though that job proved to be short-lived (and the one after it even more so), I was still able to set the groundwork for my family to be able to live out here.  Even though the antics of my extended (Yes Dear’s) family sometimes makes me wonder if it was worth it.

Okay, enough about me for now.  Anyone out there, regulars or lurkers, willing to share similar stories?  Moments in their life that began ordinary and ended up being extraordinary?  Life-changing or crossroads moments?  Turning points?  Please feel free to share in the comments.

Famn Damily, pt II

There was once a time where, without knowing how she really was, I used to stick up for my SIL to her sister (Yes Dear), at least, in private.  We all lived in another state back then, and I thought it was time to use the distance to good advantage and advocated letting go of the past and the animosity so that maybe we all could set proper boundaries and with those, behave like a family and be civilized and considerate around one another (like with my family).  I thought at the time that Yes Dear was just being overly sensitive to her and her attempts to reach out.  Without knowing and seeing what I do now, I thought Yes Dear was being the vindictive one clinging to the past and being childish about issues that happened years ago and unwilling to let go or forgive.

Now I know better.

Now I see why.

I find it hard to fathom how a functioning logical adult could get so offended at the fact that we believe our immediate family comes first.  Our niece, SIL’s youngest adult daughter, is due to have a baby boy in June and having a baby shower tonight.  Which Yes Dear and PBJ are declining to attend, though they are sending over a gift.  Why?  Because June Bug is in town with grandson CJ, along with baby daddy and his mama.  Because we want to see our prodigal daughter who we haven’t seen (other than Yes Dear’s brief hookup in Florida last summer) since very shortly after she gave birth to AJ over three and a half years ago.  Because we at least want to meet the baby daddy and show him we’re caring parents and grandparents, even if his future with June Bug is in doubt right now.  Oh yes, almost forgot, we want to spend time with and get to know our latest grandbaby.

And SIL is all butthurt by this.  To the point where she is complaining to other family members about how selfish and self-centered her sister is.

Really?  REALLY?  She must be looking into a mirror.

Over the last year or so we’ve made mostly successful efforts to distance ourselves from the extended family across town because of the drama factor and the fact that we constantly got used by them for just about anything and everything.  Youngest daughter PBJ goes over there to help watch the hopelessly neglected kids in that house, but is wise enough to not allow herself to get roped into any situation she doesn’t want to be a part of.  Unfortunately, eldest daughter Panda Bear, newly living in town, is the one that gets sucked in and used the most (and particularly her car), since she is more gullible and easily manipulated.  We actually had to tell her flat out that she wasn’t allowed to bring the problems and drama from over there into our home.

The truth is that I almost don’t give a damn about what goes on over there anymore that doesn’t involve any of our own.  The only ones that I care about over there are the nephews, JJ and the twins.   They are literally afterthoughts in the scheme of things in that family, and seem to only serve as burdens and inconveniences to SIL and the jackhole she’s married to.  And I’m really concerned about JJ, who will be turning twelve in just a few more months and already reaching the outer verges of puberty.  I’ve seen little of him the past several months and on the few occasions I have he has seemed withdrawn and depressed.  I’m hoping we can get him over here a little more often once school ends for the summer, but dealing with him means often having to deal with SIL’s bullshit, and sometimes it’s just not worth it.  Also we don’t allow AJ over there unless one of us is present to directly supervise him, and even then only for short periods.  They are most definitely NOT on the babysitting list for AJ.

And how dare she throw a hissyfit and see fit to judge us about how we do things and run our house when she almost criminally neglects hers?  The children in her home are utterly miserable and severely emotionally neglected.  She complains about the precarious state of their finances when her husband brings home over two and a half times the money that I do, and we work at the SAME PLACE.  And rather than fix up or find a way to buy a reliably functioning vehicle for their family, she’d rather use everyone else’s at her convenience and not even have the courtesy to put gas in them.  Needless to say, they’ve been banned from our vehicles, and from Dad’s (my FIL) truck.  So now they’ve suckered Panda Bear into using hers (the one we just helped her buy).

Sixteen years ago Yes Dear left the state with me to go live in Georgia.  At the time her entire family was utterly intolerable and she needed to get away from them for a while.  I hoped that maybe now we’re back close to them things had changed at least a little for the better.

What a fool I was.

The relationship with her parents has at least improved, but it took some boundary setting and enforcing to get there.  Her sister?  Not a thing has changed, and if anything has gotten worse.  She’s raising a whole new household of dysfunctional (grand)kids, and often seems eager to export the drama to anyone who draws close.  She has enabled her Chunt of an eldest daughter to be the way she is, and has all but driven second daughter Stevie and her kids away to the point where she can’t stand to be around.

For all the aforementioned reasons and others (like there needs to be any more), we have taken on a fairly strict “our family first” attitude.  We don’t mind helping out here and there on occasion, particularly where our nephews are concerned, but at the first hint of being taken advantage of or the cancerous chaos over there trying to spread to our house, the door closes and the wall goes up.  Panda Bear has been warned, because she has a history of taking sides against us, that any attempts to bring their drama into our home will result in her being on the other side of that wall.  And as much as I worry about the kids and particularly the emotional state of JJ  I recognize that there is little we can do for them other than let them know that we do care about them and try to be there for them when we can, despite the efforts of the asswipe BIL to sequester them from our love and concern.

Because I have looked at how things are over there, how the house is run, how selfish, self-centered and judgemental the adults are in that house (the pregnant niece is no better), and miserable the kids are, I vowed that our house and immediate family will never be like that.  AJ will always have a home full of love and parents who look after his best interests before their own.  His home will be a happy place where he can grow, where there is order and not chaos.

If that means Yes Dear and I are selfish and self-centered, then I’m proud of it.

Boundaries.  It’s all about setting and enforcing them.

Even with, and sometimes particularly with, family.

4/15/2013

Apparently America has been attacked again.

Obviously this was a terroristic act.  The question is if it was by someone domestic like OKC 1995, or a mini-9/11 by international terrorists.

I’m going to deliberately filter and avoid some of the news and let things sort themselves out somewhat before jumping to conclusions.  No need for unfounded rumors and panic.

But regardless of whether it was a homegrown terrorist group or Al-Qaida, the gloves need to come off and we need to bury those responsible.  Obama needs to find his balls as President and make sure that happens.

In the meantime, pray for those in Boston.

Peasant revolt

Last month Yes Dear told me that today there was a church event for women only going on in Little Rock and her and PBJ wanted to attend, so could I plan on spending this particular Saturday home watching AJ?

No problem, I figured.  I was barely getting in a full week at work and overtime was very scarce, so I didn’t see any issues.

As luck would have it, this month turned into a busy month.  So busy that people had to work overtime during Good Friday and Easter weekend.  Luckily, I wasn’t selected for that, even though I could’ve used the money.  The day shift operator in my area got to work it instead.  We sort of made a deal that so long as they were working us weekends, we would lobby the bosses to alternate us.  He worked Easter weekend, I worked the next (last) weekend.

This week they had us on 10-12hr days, we were so busy.  I specifically told the bosses that I’d be willing to work all I could during the week but I needed the Saturday off.  I busted my butt catching up with the backlog of parts to the point that when I came in Thursday evening, things were looking pretty on our end of the production line.

And then I looked at the OT schedule.  Both shifts were scheduled to work this Fri-Sat.

A little background here.  I do have vacation time, and can call in a couple times a year without an occurrence.  The catch is that you can only call in on regular scheduled shifts, not overtime.  The only way you can reliably get out of an OT weekend is by scheduling vacation the day before or the day after a weekend.  A week in advance.  And they only put out the weekend OT schedule Thursday evening-Fri morning, so it’s impossible to make any weekend plans.  Not to mention it’s very difficult to predict if you’ll be scheduled the weekend because of their practice of shotgunning OT at everyone without regards as to if they are actually caught up or needed in their area.

I talked to my immediate boss about the situation and he said he forwarded the request up the management chain, but the operations manager (2nd in command after our useless plant manager) mandated that everybody had to work, therefore I got scheduled.

So I called in last night.

There was no way I was going to to be able to stay awake and monitor a 3 1/2 yo Saturday until late afternoon after working a full shift the night before and getting off at 7am.  And alternate babysitting arrangements for AJ are few and far in between.  Sad to say, but we trust almost no one in Yes Dear’s family to watch AJ for any length of time except maybe for niece Stevie, and she works a schedule similar to mine.  The SIL’s place is out for more reasons than I’m able to count.  Panda Bear tends to be negligent in watching him and often will let her kids pick on him.  And even though we’ve gotten to know some pretty good people at church we still don’t know them well enough to ask them to babysit for us, and AJ tends to take time to warm up to other adults.  Not to mention the fact that I probably need to spend more time with him myself on my days off.

Yet there’s more to this than just keeping to a family commitment.  I’ve been employed at my current job for almost two years.  For the first year I had to work a crappy weekend night shift with OT virtually every week so that was only getting one night off a week, and it was a while before I accrued any vacation.  Not that I’m complaining too much because at the time I had to do what was needed and the money was good, but I showed up for every regularly scheduled and OT shift whether I felt like it or not, and called in maybe twice the previous two years, once to take Yes Dear to the ER and once because of a stomach bug.   Some time ago I took the attitude that I work to live, not live to work, and that no employer owned me.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a work ethic that tends to transcend and exceed the expectations of most employers, and I normally don’t have a problem with putting out extra to get the job done.  But the bottom line is, when family needs me, family comes first.

The most probable consequence for my little rebellion last night is that I’ll be marked with an occurrence.  Which is of little consequence to me, because you can take up to four a year before you get in trouble, and I only have one from the previous year.  I’m also not expecting any promotions or advancements, so I have no brownie points to earn or lose.  The absolute worst that could happen is that I earn the enmity of the plant XO and fasttrack myself onto the next layoff list.  Which at this point I would gladly take, because this is a dead end job and I could only improve by going elsewhere.  Besides, the guy is a certifiable dick anyway, so I really don’t care what he thinks of me since he only acknowledges and accents the negatives instead of the positives.

Like I said before, I work to live, not live to work.

Family comes first.

And no employer owns me.  Nor ever will.

1925 – 2013

The free world has lost one of it’s greatest leaders today.

Rest in peace, Lady Margaret Thatcher.  Your work is done here on this earth, but it will never be forgotten by those of us who share your values, even from the other side of the pond.

And while you’re at it, tell Ronnie we miss him and want him back.

Monday morning funny

I’ve got too much serious stuff on my mind, and a lot of it either comes out or will come out shortly in this blog.  And I spent Saturday evening watching our church’s General Conference, so I feel somewhat guilty about posting this.

But this little vid made me snarf Pepsi out my nose last night.

So seriously- put down the coffee… I’m not kidding, put it down… before viewing.  And finish chewing and swallowing your  breakfast before it ends up all over your monitor.

Disclaimer: mildly NSFW

after the fold…

Child of mine

It is amazing some of the attributes that a child I have no genetic link with could share with me.

Starting with the looks.  Truthfully, he looks a lot like his bio-mother.  He is a tow-headed blond which is starting to darken as he gets older, just like she was at that age.  But unlike her, he has piercing ice-blue eyes, which were really prominent when he was just a newborn.  Maybe that’s one of the things that people are looking at when they say he looks a lot like me.  Even though my eyes are more of a blue-green.

I’m impressed.

He’s social and does enjoy playing with other kids, but can make himself perfectly happy playing all by himself with his toys.  And listening to him, his imagination goes in all sorts of directions, making sense only to himself.  Yes I know, typical of a three year old.

He loves to laugh and he laughs easily.  But he also gets frustrated easily, and gets his feelings hurt easily.  He is persnickity about who gives him attention at any particular time, but when he wants that attention he wants it NOW.  He loves to be held and cuddled, but only for so long and on his own terms.

He loves to go for drives.  His face may have a bored, disinterested look as he stares out the window going 65mph, but I know better.  He loves to watch and take in the scenery as it goes by.  And he loves to point out random things that he sees.

Just like me.

When he walks, he has this natural bounce to his step.  He can be described as a tippy-toed walker.  Something which I’ve been made fun of ever since elementary school and still do to this day by my coworkers.  I’ve even been nicknamed “Happy Feet” at work.  But after seeing him walk the same way as I, I can cherish that label.

When he is sick (too often lately) he wants nothing more than to be left alone on the bed or couch watching TV.  And he hates, absolutely HATES, being sick to the point where he throws up, so much that he fears the feeling almost as much as the act, as well as eating anything else so long as he’s not feeling good.

Definitely something I can relate to.

Right now he’s still pretty much of a momma’s (Yes Dear’s) boy.  Also typical of his age.  But more and more he’s wanting his daddy time.  And even when I’m dead tired, when I’ve worked all night and can’t get settled enough to sleep, or am just too lazy to get my butt to do anything productive, it’s up to me to provide it.

Because more and more, he’s watching me and the things I do.  And imitating them.  And trying to figure out if they suit him.

In short, he’s becoming more and more my child every day.  Even if we don’t share the same biology.

I like that.

And on a hopeful note, June Bug has gotten the legal papers and is in the process of notarizing and returning them, supposedly.  Yes, we’ve been disappointed by her before, but after talking to her we have confidence that it’s going to happen this time.  So we’ll see.

You might be a redneck…

For those of us that are fans of redneck jokes, head on over to Coffeypot’s place for a whole bunch of them.  And see how many of them apply to yourself.

Wonder if all these came from Jeff Foxworthy?

It always gets better

That’s the message we need to start getting out to teens these days they may be considering ending their lives.

There’s a sad story out there that, even though it happened in a distant locale and I have no connection with it, got my attention this morning. I came upon a FB post from one of my friends, a former blogger who was one of my regular readers before life got in the way and she had to hang it up.  Apparently at the school her daughters attend, a 13-year old boy shot himself to death in one of the bathrooms.  A kid that was a friend of one of her daughters.

I followed a link to the local news where it happened.  There is speculation over if bullying was a problem in the kid’s life.  The school administrators didn’t seem to think so, but some of the students had different opinions.  Personally I would give a little more credibility to the students, particularly if a number of them said the same thing, but I digress.

And of course there was handwringing (particularly in the comments) over how he managed to get hold of a gun and bring it into school, would he have done it had he not had access to a gun, does the school need metal detectors or random searches, gun violence, yada yada yada.  Which of course totally misses the point.

The point is that we don’t know what was going on in this kid’s head.  Bullying may or may not have been an issue, and the use of a gun was totally irrelevant, he would’ve found some way if he was determined enough.  What matters is that he was unable to comprehend that middle school and adolescence, however trying the experience is, is only temporary.  There will be bad days and there will be terrible days, and sometimes they may continue for days or even weeks, but eventually the bad times will end and things will get better.  And it is within everyone’s power to make it happen.  All they have to do is somehow make it through the darkness long enough, and the light will come through.

I know this sounds awfully simplistic, particularly to a kid that’s really hurting and stuck in a particularly dark place.  But their lives are just beginning, and eventually not only the bad times of school will pass, they will eventually acquire the tools as an adult to deal with life as it happens.  They just need to be convinced to not give up and extinguish any chance of finding that light in their lives.  And also consider the fact that, in attempting to end their pain, they may well be causing considerable pain to others.  Parents, siblings, extended family, friends.  Nobody wants or deserves that kind of pain, and I don’t believe anyone has the right to inflict it.

I shared some thoughts on teenage suicide in another post a few years back, and they’re still perfectly valid.  And an even better take on the subject and what kind of life can await those who endure through the bad times can be found here.   Even though the second link is a little more geared for adults, I think it’s good reading for anyone.

I wish I could’ve talked to that kid.  Had sat him down one on one, and told him how much my middle school life sucked too.  That I was small for my age and socially immature, and it was a recipe made in hell for a middle schooler back in the early 80′s.  That I was picked on and bullied and made fun of, and was miserable more times than not.  That things improved somewhat when I made it to high school, but there were still difficult times and I didn’t really break out of it until after I graduated.  That there were times where I too felt like checking out for good.  That on a couple occasions, I actually fantasized about the nightmare scenario which all too many school shooters have made reality in recent years, just to make myself heard.  And instead of making those irrevocable choices that would have had awful consequences, I chose to persevere.  I found ways to deal with my angst, even if it meant crawling into a safe shell of books and wargames.  I found people to talk to who would listen.  I found friends who, in their own ways, were misfits like me.  Above all I chose not to take any action that would hurt others, particularly those I cared about.  Because I knew that if I could make it to June of 1986 (my graduation) that the petty backbiting world of school would end, a new world of fresh opportunities would open up, and nobody would care just how much of a loser I was in school.

I wish someone could’ve talked to that kid.  Friend, teacher, counselor, pastor, priest, bishop, rabbi.  Or trusted family member.  Or the parents, even if they couldn’t reach the kid, had taken him to someone who could.  And told him that he mattered to someone, and that as he got older he’d matter to far more.  And that he didn’t have the right to hurt those people that he mattered to, not his family or friends.  That life is a cycle, and eventually the good times will balance out the bad.  That there is always light somewhere in the darkness.  And we should always fight against the darkness, even if we have to enlist help from others because we are too weak ourselves.

To anyone, particularly any teenager, that somehow may stumble upon my insignificant corner of the blogiverse, understand that each period in life is temporary.  Bad times will someday be good times, and by checking out you will permanently close the door to untold joys and rewards.  Just find a way to make it through the hard stuff, and eventually it’ll get better.