Been feeling kind of low and depressed this weekend for a variety of reasons, one of the main ones being that it’s doubtful I’ll be able to make it home for Christmas because our payday falls on Christmas Eve and we don’t have direct deposit. Meaning I won’t have any money to go anywhere or do anything until it’s too late to do any good.
Also was supposed to get JJ for a little while this weekend but he got in trouble for some trivial reason so that fell through. Kinda get the feeling that’s going to be a common occurrence in the future. Of course my cold decided to make a encore performance as well, so it’s doubtful I would have been feeling up to doing much with him anyway.
But first and foremost, I miss my family. Especially Yes Dear.
Even though I try not to blog too much about personal details about our marriage, I haven’t made it a secret here that eleven months of unemployment took a toll on our relationship and there were a couple times where things were on seriously shaky ground between us. And maybe right now a distance-enforced break is what we need to be able to fully appreciate each other.
But a couple months ago Yes Dear asked me, “What makes you stick with me? An opinionated, loudmouthed, stubborn, crabby bitch like me? What keeps you from running away screaming into the night? What keeps you coming back?”
I only had one answer for that. The most honest answer I could’ve given.
“You’re a hard habit to break”.
Which takes us into this evening’s Musical Interlude. Everybody’s got to have a sappy love song for themselves and, as much as I like to roll my eyes and make fun of them, I too have one. A mid-eighties tune and video from Chicago, another band I’d never admit to listening to in high school for fear of getting my ass kicked, but always loved. And my night’s dedication to Yes Dear, who I love dearly despite her being at times as obstinate as a constipated mule.
You sometimes make me grind my teeth down to the gums, but I still love you and right now I miss you like crazy.