Like this:

I replied to a very legit looking and sounding house ad on Craigslist, and this is the reply I got. This set of so many bullshit detectors in my head I’m getting a migraine from all the alarms. Whaddya think?

Thanks for your Keen and obvious interest in our beautiful home,Before now its been an issue putting out our home for rent due to the bond we have developed with the house,Listening to advises from friends and since there are no family member around to take care of the house we decided to do this. Firstly i will like to share with you about my little family, I am a civil Engineer working with a construction firm and partially with my own private practice,and my wife has a private practice as an attorney originally i am from Tallahassee FL. I and my wife acquired our house few years ago and have lived happily’ As we are approaching retirement,we have decided as JEHOVAH WITNESSES to spend the rest of our lives in voluntary services.To spread with gospel of Jehovah and reach out to the less privilege.This has given us so much joy and fulfillment.Presently we have been assigned to West Africa (Nigeria) to help build the Church of God and assist in spreading the living word. As it has been a tough decision for us,we require a very nice,experienced and genuine family to help keep the bond that we have with our home.Our house is intact with all amenities intact and working in perfect conditions,I would like to emphasize that you will find your new home enjoyable and you will definitely feel at home.Also the neighborhood is quite at peace and welcoming. We have a cordial relationship with the neighborhood as it is a neighborhood where,everyone keep to themselves go about their business without interference from anybody and we expect that as you move in.Please keep to yourselves as this Our (home) that will become yours will provide all the warmth and joy that you require Endeavor as much as you can to keep the home tidy,the amenities in perfect working conditions and treat this home just like you would treat your own house. we will appreciate if you could take your time to fill out the Rent/Lease application form below as we would like to keep proper documentation. RENTAL APPLICATION The undersigned hereby makes an application to rent the following property:(edited out)  Anticipated move in date of ___________________at a monthly rent of $550 and the term of tenancy will be renewed automatically every year or monthly. TENANT INFORMATION Applicant (A) Full Name__________________________ _______ Phone (_____) _____________________ Other Phone (_____) ________________________ Age_________________________ _ Marital status___________________ Do you have a pet___________________________ ________ Do you have a car___________________________ ___________ How many people will be living in the house_________________________ __ PREVIOUS RESIDENCE INFORMATION 1) Previous Address ______________________________ ________________________ City: ____________________________ State :______________ Zip:________________ Length of occupancy _____________________ Landlord’s Name: ______________________________ ________ Phone (_____) _______________________ Reason for leaving ______________________________ _________________________ Rent Payment $_______________ Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that we can have it in our file for record purposes. We are waiting your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the house documents and the keys to you. NOTE:The keys and documents of our house are here with us in west Africa, please we are giving you the house based on trust. You will only be able to drive by the house for now but you will not have access into the house until we have sent the keys and documents of the house to you Please note that your rent starts counting from move in date so you need not to worry about making the deposit payment now and not moving in immediately because all you’re doing is securing the house in your favor in order not to loose it to other interested applicants. YOU CAN CONTACT US ON +234-7089985522 or 011 2347089985522 Thanks And God Bless You Remain blessed Mr Nelson and Mrs Sarah Staples

You pretty much had me running away screaming when you mentioned Nigeria.  When are you people going to find a more original scam?  How many times do I have “I”M STUPID” written on my forehead?

Unfortunately I included my cellphone number in the initial email I showed them, so God knows where that’s going to go now. Oh well, live and learn.

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