My first introduction into the blogging world was somewhere back around 2004, when I read a local newspaper article about blogging and bloggers in the area. One of the bloggers mentioned happened to be a local, just a few miles across town from where I was, so I dropped in on his site to have a peek. The very first post of his I came across had me literally on the floor in screaming laughter. I probably spent the next month going through his archives, and links to other blogs as well. Some I commented on, others I passed on by. But I was hooked. I had discovered a whole new online world.
At this point I was still a long way from taking the plunge and starting my own blog. But I was gaining some confidence in my commenting, always trying to have something relevant to say other than the spammy “nice blog” crap. At one point, I even got a chance to do a little guest blogging, where I related a humorous story about a boy crawling into one of those claw machines you find at arcades.
I also got wise to the etiquette of commenting and how private bloggers practice moderation of their comments. I was happy to see that, unlike major news outlets where comments aren’t moderated or censored, that private bloggers were able and willing to take control of their commenting threads, weeding out spammers and trolls, and just making sure that people kept their discussions civilized and on track. (I also found out hilariously what a troll edit was, as well.)
It was a few years more before I found the courage to start blogging myself, to see if anyone out there might find interest in my mundane writings and life. I started out with no real goals, other than to share whatever struck my fancy (within reason) whenever I felt the urge to do so. And I’ve pretty much followed that policy ever since.
Let me share with you (with permission, of course) that very first blog post that I read, the one that still makes my sides ache with laughter to this day. This post was courtesy of Jim Peacock, formerly of Snoozebutton Dreams, a source of much of my early inspiration. A handful of you out there may even remember his blog from a few years back. Sadly his wife’s passing a few years back, and the challenges of work and being a single father to his three growing boys have pretty much removed him from the blogosphere. But I’ve tried to convince him to leave an online archive of his writings, even if he don’t contribute to them anymore. He did dig this one up just for me and allow me to post it. Enjoy, and don’t choke on your coffee/Pepsi/food while reading.
And while you’re at it, care to share your beginnings or introductions into the blogging world?
Disclaimer: not safe for kids, old-fashioned grandparents, ministers, blah blah blah, or those prone to adverse health effects from laughing. Read at your own risk.
Kids say the darnest things
(reprinted with permission from Jim Peacock)
Scene: Darkened bedroom
Lovely Wife: Ohhhhhh. Ahhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhh.
Me: Mmmmmmm.
LW: Oooooooooooooooh!
Me: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
LW: Ah! Oh! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
(Click – bedroom lights come on)
LW: AHHH!
Me: SHIT!
Bear: Hi Mommy.
LW: What are you doing?! Bear, get back to bed!
Bear: I heard you crying, Mommy.
Me: Mommy wasn’t crying, Bear. Now turn off the light and go back to your bed.
Bear: I heard her! Was she crying because you kissed her bagina?
Me: Bagina?! Wha?! No?! Bear, you know what a vagina is?
Bear: (proudly) Yup. It’s where the baby comes out.
LW: Wha-wha-what?!
Bear: (getting confused, talking fast) Cause the baby comes out there? Cause you said the baby was in your tummy and then we got Burger so he came out your bagina?
Me: Um, yeah. You’re right, Bear. That’s where the babies come out. Who told you about that?
Bear: I knew it myself. Cause Mommy said she didn’t poop out Burger so he had to come out her bagina, right?
LW: That’s very smart thinking. Now Mommy wasn’t crying so you can turn off the light and go back to your bed Sweetie. And remember – we do not open bedroom doors or bathroom doors without knocking.
Bear: Okay, Momma.
(Bear walks over to get a kiss goodnight from Momma, then goes over to Daddy’s side of the bed.)
Me: Uh, better not buddy. How about a high five instead?
Bear: No kiss?
Me: Nah. A high five is more appropriate. You’ll figure it out in a couple years.
(After a high five, Bear turns out the lights and footsteps are heard going upstairs.)
Me: Babies come out the bagina, eh?
LW: That was about 10 years early.
Me: I think we handled it well.
LW: Yeah, right. I was caught totally flat footed.
Me: Well it’s your own fault. You should have told him you pooped out babies.
LW: Ha ha ha. Very funny, jerk. Hey, wait a second…
(SMACK!)
Me: Ouch! What the hell was that for?!
LW: The high five.
Me: Hehehehe. Come here, baby.
LW: Sorry, Casanova. That was a complete and utter thrill kill. Go wash your face.
Me: (sotto vocce) Grmblrblgrr… Damn kids.
Ahh… I find that more sweet than hilarious… but the funny is still there.
I remember Jim, but from many years ago. It’s funny -and a little sad- who you lose track of after 10 years.
Started blogging to try and understand stuff, really. Like math, I need to write some things out to really SEE what it all means, ya know? It really helped when people started putting their .02 in… and that’s when I got hooked.
By: Pam Bobik on July 13, 2011
at 11:32 am
Oh my gosh, I remember Jim as well!! I’m glad to hear that he is doing okay. Wish he would blog again.
I remember the first blog I ever read as well! (Funny, that, isn’t it? Like first loves for geeks. I think we’ll always remember.) It was by a girl living in Boston and she isn’t blogging anymore either. Then I found the girl who hosted the contest in which I ended up winning my own blog. Sadly, she isn’t blogging anymore either, but we’re still in touch on Facebook.
By: redsaid on July 13, 2011
at 4:01 pm
Thanks for sharing what first got you into blogging! That is hilarious!
By: sustahl on July 15, 2011
at 7:26 pm
I was blogging before I knew what a blog was. I started in March 2003 because all my friends and family are out of state and it was an easy way for them to find out what was going on in my world. I had my own domain name since 1999 or 2000, after taking a web class in college and deciding I needed my own domain name. And I used to watch TechTV, and Leo Laporte would talk about blogging software, and I would lament that my web host (aka my friend across town who had a server that hosted all our domain names) didn’t support Perl, I think it was, so I couldn’t utilize real blogging software. It wasn’t until I met Frank J. and SarahK that I started using Word Press and finally had a “real” blog with commenting abilities. That would’ve been in 2005, I guess. I never read any real blogs until I met Frank and Sarah.
By: wRitErsbLock on July 20, 2011
at 8:32 am