Like this:

Warning – some harsh language to follow

Things have been a bit stressful as of late with our 20-yo daughter PBJ.

She needs to be going to college.  And we’re working to get her enrolled at the local community college, to give her something to do for the day.  She could also use a job, other than constantly babysitting, which she is fast getting tired of.

Funds and transportation are two obstacles keeping her from the aforementioned.  Plus there really are no jobs around here for someone without any experience looking to enter The Real World.

Not to mention, she’s needed around here a lot.  Or rather, Yes Dear needs her a lot to help with the house and AJ.

Lately she’s been rebelling somewhat.  Getting into loud arguments with her mother, not helping out around the house, not having very much patience with AJ or any of the other kids we’ve been watching, and generally being slovenly.  Sometimes she has to be reminded that even though she’s technically an adult too, she still has to abide by the rules of the house.  And that she’s not the parent of AJ, and does not have the final say over his care and discipline when we are present.

Add that to the fact that (and I hesitate to mention this), she’s our somewhat spoiled child.  She’s always been a mama’s girl, and though she hasn’t made any of the catastrophic decisions that some of her siblings have made (so far), she’s all too often been shielded from the consequences of her behavior by her mother while growing up.

But this post isn’t to complain or vent about my daughter, even though I just did a bit of both.  I just wanted to give a little bit of current background.

And I want to say that I’m proud of her.  For standing up to someone, for someone else, for finding and showing her backbone (not to mention sharp teeth), and doing the right thing.

In a situation where, if I were present and no cooler head was there to restrain me, may very well have ended with someone going to the hospital and me going to jail.

I mentioned in an earlier post where my SIL has a boarder with them.  A somewhat elderly guy in his mid-late 60’s, an old friend of my SIL who had fallen on some rough times.

Apparently he has little patience with children.

And he’s in a house with a 10-yo moderately ADHD child, and two rambunctious twin 4-yo boys.

In a nutshell, here’s what I heard (via Yes Dear) – PBJ was watching the kids at the SIL’s place while her and Yes Dear went to church this morning (I worked all night, and didn’t get home until 11 this morning).  Supposedly an unspecified issue came up between the boarder and JJ.  Boarder pushed JJ across the room into a desk, with PBJ watching.  Apparently enough to bruise him.

PBJ interposed herself between the two, walked up to boarder, and said “Get the hell out of here old man.  I’m the one in charge here, not you”.   Then she gathered up JJ and the twins, took them into the next room, closed the door, and texted her mother.

Not being one that is often able to assert herself, particularly in such a volatile situation, I think that she did a remarkable job.  Particularly of note is that her and JJ too have been butting heads often enough the past few weeks to require our intervention, yet she didn’t hesitate a moment to defend him when someone else threatened him.

Of course she told her aunt what happened, and both her and hubby gave the guy an eviction notice, effective by the end of the week.  Along with a good verbal helping of what-for.

Yes Dear and I  think they’re being too kind.  In our home would’ve been out in the street within five minutes.  Facefirst.

When Yes Dear  relayed the story to me this afternoon about what happened, she turned noticeably red in the face.  And not the good kind of red, either.

And about halfway through, my blood pressure was going as well.

I don’t give a fuck who you are, or how old or young you are.  Harm a child in my care, particularly my own or any of my nephews or nieces, and expect violent, devastating consequences.

And just to be clear, I’m no tough guy and have never pretended to be.  I’ve been in perhaps two fights my whole lifetime, way back in my youth and only after I’d tried to walk away and was pushed beyond my limits (and one of them I got my ass whooped).  I’ve never been big on violence, and even cringed back in my school days watching kids fight (while everybody else wanted to see more).  I’ve walked away from, sidestepped, and even chickened out of more fights than I care to admit during my lifetime.  I’ve been called a wuss on more than one occasion.  I consider myself mostly a peaceful diplomat who’d rather talk through problems than settle them with violence.

But what reportedly happened this morning, had I been present with no one to restrain me, would’ve been my Pearl Harbor, my Lexington/Concord, my 9/11.  The gloves would’ve come off and I would’ve let myself be consumed by that intoxicating red fog of rage.

And possibly I wouldn’t be posting this right now.  Because someone may have gone to the ER and my family would be trying to scrape together my bail money.

Fortunately, I wasn’t there at the time (and neither was Yes Dear, who agrees with me 300%).  So I can stay out of jail and keep working my job which I’ve worked so hard to get.

And for all the frustrations I have with her sometimes, for all the times I’ve felt like getting in her face and screaming the facts of life, for all her issues and immaturity, I am proud to have a daughter who was able to stand up to a bullying asshole, find the backbone that her mother possesses so much of, and put him in his place and protect the charges in her care.

Think I owe her a little daddy-daughter night.  Even at 20, she’s not too old for it, you think?