Misunderstood children

Some time ago I did a post called “Prayer For Abused And Neglected Children”, which included both a Catholic prayer and an excerpt from a talk by an LDS authority, that has racked up numerous hits on my blog.  At the time, given situations going on with friends and family, not to mention some news headlines at the time, I felt compelled to post it.  And I’m glad that so many people have come seeking it out.

Now I feel compelled to do another post in a similar vein.

Recently my wife & I were remarking on how our home tends to always be gathering lost children, both related & unrelated.  We were kind of joking about it at first, then came to this realization that we actually are often a haven for kids from less-than-ideal circumstances.  In the past, our kids have brought by friends from troubled homes, and we’ve brought them in and treated them like one of our own.   We have nephews and a couple of nieces living in chaotic conditions who love to come over and spend time with us, or a night, or a weekend.  Because we treat them like our own.  Because we take the time to listen to them, to get to know them, and understand them.  Because we have clear rules and expectations in our home.  Because they know they won’t be arbitrarily punished for trivial things in our home.  Because they know they can always find someone to talk to, someone to hug them, or a lap or shoulder to cry on when they need to.

Of course, some members of the family think that all this adds up to spoiling them, just like we “spoil” our own AJ.  But frankly, we don’t care.  We are committed to making sure that AJ is exposed as little as possible to their chaos and their children get nothing but love and understanding when they are in our home.  And if that’s spoiling, so be it.

A FB friend recently posted a poem that I’m compelled to share.  It’s meant to apply to children with disabilities (which we’ve often had to deal with as well), but it can also be construed to apply to those that may just be difficult to understand.  Or difficult to love.

I can think immediately of a few children that this poem applies to exactly.

Including a long-time-ago version of myself.

The Misunderstood Child

– a poem about children with hidden disabilities

by Kathy Winters

… I am the child that looks healthy and fine.
I was born with ten fingers and toes.
But something is different, somewhere in my mind,
And what it is, nobody knows.

I am the child that struggles in school,
Though they say that I’m perfectly smart.
They tell me I’m lazy — can learn if I try –
But I don’t seem to know where to start.

I am the child that won’t wear the clothes
Which hurt me or bother my feet.
I dread sudden noises, can’t handle most smells,
And tastes — there are few foods I’ll eat.

I am the child that can’t catch the ball
And runs with an awkward gait.
I am the one chosen last on the team
And I cringe as I stand there and wait.

I am the child with whom no one will play –
The one that gets bullied and teased.
I try to fit in and I want to be liked,
But nothing I do seems to please.

I am the child that tantrums and freaks
Over things that seem petty and trite.
You’ll never know how I panic inside,
When I’m lost in my anger and fright.

I am the child that fidgets and squirms
Though I’m told to sit still and be good.
Do you think that I choose to be out of control?
Don’t you know that I would if I could?

I am the child with the broken heart
Though I act like I don’t really care.
Perhaps there’s a reason God made me this way –
Some message he sent me to share.

For I am the child that needs to be loved
And accepted and valued too.
I am the child that is misunderstood.
I am different – but look just like you.