I want to try to get away from this being nothing but a place to bitch about family, and try to offer some lighter or more thoughtful content, but it’s been getting real hard to lately.
And, to be honest, I’m losing my muse. I don’t quite want to pack it in completely because I never know when I’ll be inspired to get off my lazy butt and write something, but the inspiration has been less and less lately, which is why the crickets have been chirping so loudly.
Also not helping is the stress of being unemployed, and recent family events, some quite negative, that leave my mind a landlocked mess of emotions, unable to sleep properly but unable to get anything out. Call it constipation of the mind.
But I will start out with something positive – my church and my faith. I don’t always follow them as devoutly as I should at times, but it’s there when I need it and boy, I’ve needed them lately. Sometimes there’s no better way to deal with your own issues than to put them aside for the greater good, so you can see the bigger picture and understand that, as many issues as you may have, there are far greater matters and those that have far more pressing needs, and you are in a position to make a difference.
That’s how I felt when I went to church yesterday. Before my ride picked me up to take me to my church council meetings (the rest of the family followed later separately) I was crabby and sleep deprived, with the events of the night before and their future negative implications running through my head. Yet my wife & I said a prayer together asking for comfort and peace, that we may at least be able to make it through church and faithfully perform our callings. And you know, it worked. Some unexpected good things did come about yesterday, but what was most important was the spiritual refreshment that we desperately needed. I received some words of wisdom from my ride (an older gentleman who was formerly our branch president) and was able to focus on the things that concerned our not-so-big congregation as a whole, not to mention the Sunday School lesson I was supposed to teach for the day.
Just typing that last paragraph made me feel better. But now I have to share the bad stuff.
My daughter Panda Bear is getting married this summer, which I’ve blogged a little about before. So far, so good.
But we’re being pushed out of the wedding and their lives by my thoroughly evil sister-in-law, who seems to have this campaign to oust my wife as the mother of the bride. She’s in the process of brainwashing both my daughter and the fiancé that my wife is trying to take over the wedding, that there’s going to be arguments and strife and nothing but trouble. Oh, btw, I guess I’m the enemy too because I stand up and support my wife (why wouldn’t I?)
A little quickie background – Panda Bear is diagnosed as mildly Asperger’s, which means she doesn’t always understand social conventions and is easily manipulated. Not helping is the troubled history between her and us (particularly her mother), which my beloved SIL keeps stoking the flames to behind the scenes. Unfortunately the fiancé and his family are very easily manipulated too, and even though he and I have been friends for a while, it has become strained between us lately as he keeps being fed a line of shit about my wife and I have to stand up for her.
And let’s not forget the small detail that we have the relationship with our two grandchildren at stake here as well.
I’m starting to wish a house would fall on her.
Enough for now, it’s starting to upset me again typing this. Perhaps we really do need to pray for divine guidance right now. Because I’m not seeing any other route we can take that won’t end in defeat for us.
Oh, and one more thing (to quote the great Columbo) – somebody at church told me I reminded them of John Madden. After further review (and the fact that I really do admire the guy) I think I can take that as a compliment.
So maybe I’ll end this on a happy note after all.